You Might be a Redneck Pilot if:
Your stall warning plays "Dixie".
Your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as checkpoints.
You think sectional charts should show trailer parks.
You've ever used moonshine as AVgas.
You have mudflalps on your wheel pants.
Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
You wouldn't be caught dead in a Grumman Yankee.
You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock.
The side of your airplane has a sign advertising your septic tank
You constantly confuse Beechcraft and Beechnut.
You refer to formation flying as "we got us a convoy".
Your matched set of luggage is three grocery bags from Publix.
You've ever refueled your plane from a Mason jar.
You've got a gun rack on the passenger window.
You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together.
Your preflight includes removing all the clover, grass, and wheat from
your landing gear.
You figure the weight of mud and manure on your plane into the CG
You siphon gas from your tractor to put into your airplane.
You.ve never landed at an actual airport though you've been flying for
You've ground looped after hitting a cow.
You consider anything over 100' AGL to be high altitude flight.
There are parts of your airplane labled John Deere.
You've never actually seen a sectional but have all of the Mobil road
maps for your flying area.
There's exhaust residue on the right side of your aircraft and tobacco
stains on the left.
You have to buzz the strip to chase off the sheep and goats.
You use your parachuteto cover your plane.
You've ever landed on the main street of town to get a cup of coffee.
The tread pattern, if any, on your main tires doesn't match.
Your primary comm. Radio has 90 channels.
You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass.
You put hay in the baggage compartment so your dogs don't get cold.
Your flight instuctor's day job is at the community sales barn.
You've got matching bumper stickers on the vertical fin.
There are grass stains on the propeller tips.
Thee FFA still thinks you live at your parent's house.
Your hanger collapses and more than four dogs are injured.
Somewhere on your airplane is a "I'd rather be fishing" bumper sticker.
You navigate with your ADF tuned exclusively to country stations.
When you go to the airport cafe, they hand you biscuits and gravy
instead of a menu.
You think an ultralight is a new sissy beer from Budweiser.
Just before the crash, everybody at the airport heard you say, "Hey,
y'all watch this!"