Make your own free website on Tripod.com

Pilot Lingo

  • AIRSPEED - Speed of an airplane. Deduct 25% when listening to a retired Air Force pilot.


  • BANK - The folks who hold the lien on most pilots' cars.


  • CARBURETOR ICING - A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas.


  • CONE OF CONFUSION - An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach beacon at an airport.


  • DEAD RECKONING - You reckon correctly, or you are.


  • DESTINATION - Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot's bladder saturation point.


  • ENGINE FAILURE - A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air.


  • GLIDE DISTANCE - Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.


  • HYDROPLANE - An airplane designed to land long on a short & wet runway.


  • MINI-MAG LITE - Device designed to support the AA battery industry.


  • NANOSECOND - Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and engine failure.


  • PARASITIC DRAG - A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service.


  • RANGE - Usually about 3 miles short of the destination.


  • ROGER - Used when you're not sure what else to say.


  • SERVICE CEILING - Altitude at which cabin crew can serve drinks.


  • SPOILERS - FAA Inspectors.


  • STALL - Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.


  • STEEP BANK - Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest.


  • TURN & BANK INDICATOR - An instrument largely ignored by pilots.


  • USEFUL LOAD - Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight.


  • WAC CHART - Directions to the Army female barracks.


  • YANKEE - Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to "Say again."